


Image Left Behind

by ChibiPanda



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bullying, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, dangerous pranks, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2020-02-27 12:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18739276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiPanda/pseuds/ChibiPanda
Summary: 'It was well-known that Jisung was afraid of a lot of things, that lots of things made him jump. Easily startled like the squirrel he’d been told he embodied. All of Stray Kids knew this – the world probably knew this – and while it was embarrassing often, Jisung easily brushed off the comments and the teasing that resulted. People found it funny and cute, and he couldn’t judge them for laughing at him. Especially, since they didn’t know the full extent of his fears or why things affected him as they did.'Sometimes you just can't hide things anymore. Sometimes you can't shelter people you'd like to. And sometimes, that is probably for the best.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> More rambles in the form of writing~~~ I hope some of you enjoy this!

Jisung wasn’t overly shy and he wasn’t super self-conscious; no more so than the average person. He didn’t worry too much about what the people thought of him if they thought he was weird or winey. He didn’t care when he was mocked for caring for his members – he enjoyed doing so. He loved supporting them, highlighting them, writing for them, watching them. But he didn’t like worrying them.

He wasn’t one to take too much credence in the age system in Korea. He honored it when it was expected of him, called Chan ‘hyung’ and played around with Felix claiming that ‘a day was still enough time to be older,’ but he really didn’t buy that a few months were enough to justify actual growth and maturity.

Even so, Jisung felt worrying Jeongin was the worst thing he could do.

Jisung hated causing trouble for Chan, but the older had explicitly told him that he worried far more when Jisung pretended things were fine. Worrying Changbin was also painful for Jisung, but they shared everything. It wouldn’t be fair for him to listen to the older while also keeping things from him.

With Woojin and Minho, it was more a matter of easing their existing worry than not causing it to begin with. Perhaps Woojin worried more because he was the eldest and maybe Minho’s heart was just too big, but those two always worried a bit.

Hyunjin and Seungmin were easily swayed one way or the other, sharing the same age and the same troubles. Things were neither shared nor kept, they just _were_ among them.

Felix was special. He and Jisung had always shared things. It often felt as though they’d known each other for decades rather than years. They also read each other well, both knowing what the other needed or wanted without words being passed between them.

But Jisung hated causing Jeongin to worry. It wasn’t just that he was younger, Jeongin had a pure, honest, and kind edge to him that Jisung wanted to protect. Even if the world wanted it to be broken. He didn’t want to be the one to soil that. Whether the younger knew Jisung kept personal troubles from him wasn’t clear. If he did know Jisung fought hard to not share his fears or pains, Jeongin had never mentioned it aloud.

The youngest member of 3racha never hid his affection and respect for their maknae. Jeongin’s kind heart, passionate drive, and desire to prove himself was so endearing, Jisung couldn’t easily pretend he felt differently. And while Jeongin wasn’t one to ask for help, he did allow Jisung to help him from time to time.

All that aside, Jisung was pleased when they ended up rooming together. It hadn’t been some epic change, but it made him feel slightly more important. Especially, on the few occasions where Jeongin would express his nervousness about their upcoming schedules or his concerns over their upcoming recording sessions.

Jisung also enjoyed their other conversations. Jeongin was a deep thinker – considerate – and often shared his thoughts on society, people, and life.

There were things that Jisung found less fun. Like Jeongin’s love of startling him, Jeongin’s love of frightening him, and Jeongin’s love of trying to get him to scream.

It was well-known that Jisung was afraid of a lot of things, that lots of things made him jump. Easily startled like the squirrel he’d been told he embodied. All of Stray Kids knew this – the world probably knew this – and while it was embarrassing often, Jisung easily brushed off the comments and the teasing that resulted. People found it funny and cute, and he couldn’t judge them for laughing at him. Especially, since they didn’t know the full extent of his fears or why things affected him as they did.

Chan knew of course. The Aussie had seen some of the worst moments and hardest hits. But the others remained mostly unaware. And Jisung hoped to keep it that way. His fears were childish and mortifying, and they made him feel pathetic. Pathetic to be affected by a thing that happened so long ago, a thing that was nothing more than an unkind prank.

Normally Jisung was able to play off his fear and anxiety, laugh with the others when needed, and shift the subject onto something less embarrassing.

However, this was not one of those moments.

They were all exhausted. Between day long dance rehearsals, hours of composition finalizing, and late night recordings none of them were against forgoing food for sleep. Even Chan had retired to his bed soon after the group returned to the dorms.

Both Jisung and Jeongin passed out shortly after shutting the lights out in their shared room, both deep asleep and entirely unmoving.

Then the first explosion rang out, illuminating the room as the light filtered in through their drawn blinds, and vibrations resonating through the thin walls and rattling the windows.

Jisung’s eyes snapped open and his entire body froze, suddenly petrified, as the second and third explosion shook the walls again.

“What was that?” Jeongin’s voice was thick, laced with exhaustion and annoyance, and a touch of curiosity.

The younger’s words barely bridged the gap between them, Jisung felt his heart explode with the next bang. Suddenly unable to breathe or even think.

“Fireworks?” Jeongin asked clumsily moving from his bed to the window, “Can we see them from here? It’s gotta be illegal to be shooting them off from a building in the city, right?”

The ringing and panic had enveloped Jisung’s entire being; nearly impenetrable. His hands burned, his chest hurt, his mind couldn’t rationalize it, couldn’t function. He could practically feel the sparks splash painfully against his skin.

“Hyung?” Jeongin’s curiosity wavered, “Sungie-hyung?”

Jisung had curled in on himself, hands pressed painfully against his ears and nails digging into his temples, shaking erratically.

“What’s wrong?! Are you sick?” the maknae’s voice was terrified, but he still moved the short distance instantly. He carefully tried to remove the blankets and help Jisung in whatever way he could, “I - can you hear me? Sungie-hyung? Can you breathe? What’s happening?”

The words were distorted; low and drawn out. Jisung tried to acknowledge them, tried to quell the Jeongin’s fears. But, all he managed to do was whimper breathily.

“Okay...okay,” Jeongin’s own voice rose with panic, “I’m here.” He quickly grabbed onto Jisung awkwardly pulling the older boy up enough so that he could be cradled into Jeongin’s chest, “Are you sick Hyung? You’re sweaty and shaking...I don’t…”   

The younger’s warmth and arms pushed out some of Jisung’s panic. The explosions continued, but had become background noise overshadowed by his body’s reaction, “I...please.”

“Oh thank god…” Jeongin’s entire body deflated, falling against Jisung’s, and his arms tightened, “thank god...okay. Everything is fine...thank god.”

 It took a few more minutes for Jisung’s heart to stop racing and for him to breathe easily again, “sorry…”

“What? What happened? Are you alright? Do you need Chan-hyung? Or a doctor – or –“

“No. No, I’m alright,” his body felt like led, but Jisung wasn’t in actual danger and the embarrassment was slowly building with every question of concern the younger asked.

“What happened Hyung?” Jeongin’s voice was soft, kind, and worried, “was it the fireworks? They were really loud.”

Before Jisung could construct an answer the door opened cautiously, and Chan’s head popped in, “Ah, I’d hoped you managed to sleep through it. You guys alright?” he questioned softly trying to catch Jisung’s eyes, “Those fireworks were really loud – Felix fell out of the bed.”

“Jisungie-hyung had a panic attack!” Jeongin blurted out before he could be silenced.

Chan said nothing, simply closed the door and walked over. Another firework exploded above them, momentarily lighting up the room again in shades of reds and gold; Jisung flinched violently at the unexpected blast.

“I’m fine Channie-hyung, just startled is all,” he muttered, hands still balled into fists, “I didn’t expect it…”

Chan paused thoughtfully, “Of course you weren’t Sung. None of us were. Woojin has already called the police. And,” he sat down next to them, “like I said, ‘lix fell out of bed – got a bloody nose. Seungmin was tending to it.”

“Is ‘lixie okay?” Jisung sat up more, as much as he could with Jeongin’s arms still latched around him.

“Of course. He’ll bruise, but he’ll be alright. So?”

With reluctance, Jisung pulled farther away from the youngest’s grasp and positioned himself between the two, “It startled me it all.”

“No.” Jeongin spoke up, quiet but persistent, “Startled is like a brief jump or something. He was terrified Chan-hyung. I thought he was sick or...or dying…” there was an edge of hysteria to the last words.

“I wasn’t –“

“Hyung, he was barely breathing and shaking and sweating…”

“It’s alright Jeonginie,” Chan placated quietly, “Ji?”

“Yeah…”

“How bad was it?” Chan was the only one to have seen him freak out before; though Changbin had found them shortly after.

“It wasn’t that bad Hyung,” Jisung could practically feel the younger preparing to interject, “compared to that one time, it wasn’t bad. I promise…” Jisung wasn’t even sure what had set him off that time, but Chan had found him in the empty practice room. Jisung barely even remembered the episode, but it was clearly branded onto Chan’s brain.

“That time? What time?!” Jeongin sounded inquisitive but entirely horrified.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jisung cut Chan off before the Aussie could even start, “It’s not common. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

The silence was unnerving, but Jisung really didn’t know what else he should say.

“I think it might be time you shared that story with everyone Sungie,” Chan said carefully though he quickly added, “tomorrow, we’ll talk more about it tomorrow.” he sighed quietly and yawned into his palm. “Really talk about it. Sounds like they have stopped at least. Try to sleep, okay? I’ll be just next door if you need me Sungie. Either of you. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Hyung,” Jeongin called out just as Chan closed the door, before turning instantly to Jisung, “Now talk.”

“Jeongin…”

“No. Talk,” the young vocalist demanded defiantly, “please.”

“There’s nothing to talk about Jeongin.”

“There is. You wouldn’t keep trying to brush me off otherwise. You freaked me out. Now talk.”

“It’s stupid really. A dumb thing, just some assholes from when I was little. Embarrassing really,”

“Sungie-hyung,”

“Alright fine, stop...it really is stupid...I,” Jisung paused for a second, uncomfortable and unsure, “Just, don’t laugh. Alright?”

“I won’t,” Jeongin turned, “I promise.”

Jisung took a deep breath, hoping to sound indifferent while still rushing through everything, “In elementary school, there was this group of boys who liked to pick on me. You know? Play pranks and things, normal stuff. Call me names and steal my lunch sometimes, pushing.” he held up a hand when it looked like Jeongin was going to interrupt. “It wasn’t really that bad, at first anyway. I think I was five or so when they first did _it_.”

_Even five-year-old Jisung should have known something was off when his main tormentors were just standing there watching him. But, he didn’t. He’d been having a great day. His teacher complimented his drawing and had even given him a piece of candy as a reward._

_The future rapper was practically skipping to his cubby, hands quickly pulling his bag from it without care, and that’s when it happened._

_The sound, feeling, and pain happened simultaneously. A loud pop, like a large balloon exploding by his ear. The sudden rips at the edges of his bag. And the fiery needle-like pain spreading across his palms, forearms, and right bicep._

_The bag had exploded in his hands._

_The group of boys laughed maniacally, unbothered by Jisung’s tears or the red blotches on his skin, and ran out of the room long before Jisung recovered. They didn’t get caught that day. He was too afraid to tell on them, instead, he tried to hide his injuries._

_They also didn’t get caught the second time when they rigged Jisung’s lunch box; thankfully, though terrified both Jisung and the lunch box weren’t damaged._

_The final time was the one that really stands out in Jisung’s mind. It was the one he dreamt about on occasion, the one that haunts him._

_He left the school building, just like every other day, starting his short walk home – a thing that brought the young boy a great deal of pride. He had just passed the edge of campus when the first explosion happened. A water bottle dropped from above. Jisung had screamed, frozen, and closed his eyes missing the distorted bits of plastic landing near his feet. The second and third bottles landed nearby, the sound of cracking plastic only caused Jisung to cower further. However, the fourth hit its mark._

_The bottle weighed down with sand, struck Jisung’s left shoulder. Thankfully, startling him enough to flinch sideways and causing it to slip from its perch. When it exploded the sand burned his neck and the plastic – hot on the edges – cut into his arm. But it was the sound that really got to him._

“I think I must have screamed…” Jisung refused to look towards Jeongin, still expecting laughter, “one of the kids shouted at me to shut up, but – I,” he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “It burned, it hurt, the sound. It was so loud, Jeongin. I couldn’t stop crying.”

Jisung didn’t know what to expect, but he was surprised when Jeongin pulled him back into another hug.

“They got in trouble, right? Arrested or expelled? Both? Something?!”

“I don’t think we were old enough to get arrested, Jeongin,” Jisung relaxed, suddenly more exhausted than he had been.

“They could have seriously hurt you! If it had exploded at your ear –“ Jeongin was deadly serious, his voice deep, “They should have been punished.”

“They were, or at least the ring leader was. He’d been stealing those explosive things from his dad.”

“What, he got grounded? That isn’t punishment Hyung.”

“Trust me Jeonginie, his dad was a big enough punishment,” Jisung paused, “Plus, I don’t think they were trying to hurt me.”

“You could have lost your hearing…”

“I guess,”

“And your eyesight…Sungie-hyung, those things would have prevented you from joining us…” Jeongin paused again briefly, “Why haven’t you told us before? We’ve all talked about school and you’ve never said you were bullied…”

“It’s not important,”

“But it still bothers you. We,” he stuttered slightly, “we’d never of made fun of you for being easily scared by things if we had known there was such a horrible reason behind it…it’s not funny…”

Jisung bit his lip quietly thinking for a moment, “you don’t think it’s stupid? That I should, I don’t know, just get over it.”

“No.” the maknae pulled away slowly, “I think anyone would have been tortured by such a thing. And, and…you were worried we’d of thought it was funny.” The grim realization flashed over Jeongin’s features and it tore into Jisung.

“No. I mean, yeah – a little – but not really,” sighing in frustration, Jisung fell back onto the bed and waited until Jeongin mimicked him, “my classmates then thought it was funny. The one got in trouble with his dad, but the others and our classmates, they all thought it was pretty hilarious.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“I know.”

“Chan-hyung doesn’t –“

“I didn’t –“

“You know Felix-hyung would be enraged, probably try to find those idiots. Hyunjin-hyung too.”

“Jeon-“

“I’m sure Changbin-hyung and Seungmin-hyung would also be outraged…Woojin-hyung would probably join ‘lix-hyung on a rampage come to think of it. Gentle bear he might be, you know he’d kill for any of us.”

“I know Jeonginie…”

“Minho-hyung will be upset,” Jeongin turned, repositioned Jisung and himself so that the blankets could cover them, “He’d probably just think about all the times he tried to frighten you…”

“I’ll tell everyone tomorrow…okay?”

“Okay. Goodnight Hyung.”

“Thank you,” Jisung allowed himself to take comfort in Jeongin’s warmth, “for everything.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! There should be one more chapter here, if you all want anyway. Thanks for reading!!

When the sun came up later than morning Jisung was thankful for a few things. Despite the excitement – terror really – he’d been able to sleep, Jeongin had stayed beside him – unusual for the maknae – and there had been no frightening dreams to speak of. Maybe sharing the experience with Jeongin had been more helpful than he originally thought it would be.

Jisung knew, he really did, that none of his friends would laugh at him – that they wouldn’t find it funny because it happened to him. They wouldn’t mock him – well Minho and Seungmin might a little, but it wouldn’t be to hurt him. However, the whole thing still scared him, and if they did laugh they wouldn’t be the first to do so. His classmates had, but so had his cousins. So anything was possible…

“You sleep alright Hyung?” Jeongin’s voice was deeper and thicker than usual, it was still colored slightly with the previous night’s events.

“Yep. You?” Jisung watched Jeongin scrutinize him and added playfully, “What? Was I too clingy? That’s your own fault for sleeping here, ya know?”

Jeongin chuckled pulling himself up, “You are clingy, but I’m used to it at this point.”

“Brat.” There were a couple beats of silence, punctuated oddly by the general lack of movement throughout the dorm, before Jisung broke it, “I know I said I’d tell everyone. But, you know it really isn’t a –“

“It’s a massive deal, so stop…”

“It was worth a shot…” a door creaked down the hall signaling someone was awake, “But it isn’t important, right? Not anymore anyway. It was years ago and –“

“Hyung…”

Jeongin’s response was interrupted by the door opening slowly just as it had done last night, “Oh…You’re both awake,” Chan smiled, “I just wanted to check.”

“We’re good Channie-hyung.”

“Tell Jisung-hyung that what happened is still important.” Jeongin quickly covered Jisung’s mouth with his hand, causing the older to flounder, “he thinks it isn’t and is trying to convince me that the others don’t need to know, but I think they should know. That everything is a very big deal – DID YOU JUST LICK ME! Gross!”

“Shh!” Chan rushed into the room and closed the door, “I think the others are still sleeping.”

“Sorry…”

“Oops…”

With a sigh and a headshake, Chan sat down beside them, “Sung, I’ve told you before – shh let me finish,” he skillfully shoved a pillow into Jisung face and continued, “They’d want to know. They won’t make fun of you or find it funny. We’ve talked about it.”

Jisung pulled the pillow down, “Yeah…but I don’t want to tell them.”

“I’ll tell them then.”

“Jeongin!”

“Jeongin that isn’t really your place.”

“I know,” Jeongin shrugged, “But they should know. We’ve all talked about school. We all know that Minho-hyung was made fun of in elementary school, that Felix-hyung was pushed around in Australia until he started doing martial arts, that Hyunjinie-hyung used to be followed home by bullies, and that Woojin-hyung’s best friend in second grade broke his shoulder fighting on the jungle gym. This isn’t different.”

“Jeo-“

“Sungie~” Felix’s voice rang out through the door. It sounded congested, “Did you fall out of bed last night?” he opened the door mid-sentence, “Because I did and my nose – oh…Good morning Chan-hyung, Jeongin…I was just,” a blueish bruise decorated the left side of Felix’s nose, it seemed mildly swollen still, “what are you guys doing in here?”

There was an awkward moment of silence and then Jeongin spoke with mock surprise, “Did you know Sungie got picked on in school?”

“What? You did? No, I didn’t know – what happened Sungie? What brought this on? Did you have a nightmare – or maybe one of them found you on social media? That is the worst.”

Jisung blinked wildly at the bombardment of questions, casting an appalled glance at Jeongin and a helpless one towards Chan – both of whom ignored him. “Oh…no it’s…uh,” he managed to sputter.

Jeongin stood quickly and latched onto Chan, pulling him forcefully, “Let’s make breakfast.” Their leader tried to argue, but Jeongin didn’t back down.

“What’s going on…”

With a sigh, Jisung stood and forced Felix down on the bed, “Stay.” Before darting off into the hall. Both Jeongin and Chan were already in the kitchen when Jisung unceremoniously threw the freezer door open and pulled an ice pack out, “I hate you both.”

“Don’t look at me Ji, I didn’t do anything.” 

“You needed a gentle shove Hyung,” despite the layer of snark, Jeongin looked sincere and added, “I can do it if you’d rather, or Chan-hyung.”

“Nah… I got it you brat,” Jisung flicked the remaining ice water off his hands and left the pair to cook.

The first door in the hall was open, Seungmin was making his bed and though Hyunjin was still laying down he was obviously on his phone rather than sleeping.

Jisung paused for a few seconds, contemplating.

“Sung?”

Apparently, he paused a bit longer than he thought, “hmm?”

“You just kinda froze there,” Hyunjin mumbled quietly from the bed, casting a quick glance at the sleeping Minho, “You hurt?”

“What? Oh, this, no it’s for ‘lix’s nose.”

“It look bad this morning?”

Jisung shrugged at Seungmin’s question, “Kinda. So, I’ve been told I need to share something with you all – you guys wanna meet up in my room?

There was a shared flash of confusion, but both agreed and Jisung continued back to his room. The door to Changbin, Felix, and Woojin’s room was closed so Jisung decided against disturbing them.

Felix had laid down and was playing with one of the toys on Jisung’s bunk, “Ice, for your nose.”

“It doesn’t look too bad, does it?” Felix took the ice pack but used his free hand to poke at the discolored skin.

“It looks bad because it’s a bruise where a bruise shouldn’t be. Put the ice on it or something.”

“I don’t think it’ll help any at this point Ji –“

“It can’t hurt any.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Felix waved off the concern but carefully placed the pack against the discolored skin, “So, school day bullies? Why did Jeongin bring it up so suddenly – I assume something happened. Unless you guys play, like, twenty questions every night.”

Jisung sighed slightly, “Sorta – the first one. Anyway, I asked Seungmin and Hyunjin to come in here since they were awake. You know, three birds one stone or whatever.”

“That bad?” Felix scowled, “What happened? Why now?”

“Because Jeongin is a brat and eventually Chan would kill me.”

“Chan- _hyung_ is gonna kill you regardless,” Seungmin joked as he and Hyunjin entered the bedroom, “and what’s Jeongin done now? Blackmail?”

“Basically,” Jisung rolled his eyes dramatically.

“For some reason, he told me that Jisungie got bullied in school,”

“What? Really? Weren’t you popular?”

“For being a loud annoying kid, right?” Seungmin snorted, “If that was the case you probably deserved getting pushed around a little.”

There it was. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to do things. Maybe he should just tell Woojin and Changbin, they’d probably understand, and leave everyone else in the dark… Jisung forced a bright laugh, “Yeah. What can I say, I’m a slow learner. But yeah…anyway, it happened… So breakfast?”

“No, wait! Hey, I wasn’t trying to downplay whatever happened, Ji,” Seungmin sputtered instantly, “I was just being me, you know? Tell us what happened.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Jisung tried to wave it off again, but now Seungmin was determined.

“Well, now you have no choice but to tell us, Sung,” he closed the door and put himself on the floor in front of Felix, “Because it’s clearly a very big deal.”

“And if Jeonginie is blackmailing you,” Hyunjin added following suit.

“Now spill!” Felix ordered pulling Jisung back down onto the bed.

When fighting seemed impossible, he reluctantly started recounting the story again. This time glossing over the first few events as nonchalantly as he possibly could. Missing the looks of outrage and disbelief. He did explain the last encounter in detail, hoping to give them enough info to easily connect his jumpy nature with the exploding bottle.

“Anyway. It was a super long time ago, but Jeongin saw me have a little freakout yesterday and demanded I explain. Then, because he is stubborn, demanded I tell everyone else. And effortlessly managed to convince Chan-hyung. So, there, you have been told.”

The silence that fell over the room after Jisung was finished was worse than the actual storytelling.

“Who?”

Jisung definitely expected Felix to be angry, but not Seungmin.

“Who, Jisung?” Seungmin repeated quietly – stable but deadly serious.

That’s when Jisung looked up. Felix was stoic, the ice pack no longer blocking his face and the bruise in plain sight. Hyunjin looked appalled, struck by the story and uncertain of what to do next. And then there was Seungmin.

Jisung had known the slightly younger boy for years – knew him well. Knew that Seungmin was loyal beyond reason and had a serious streak that was not to be forgotten. He was a guy who could effortlessly show unyielding affection and concern for everyone he deemed fit. He often made his loyalty and affection clear behind the scenes – in the darkness – but rarely was it so blatant.

“Jisungie, I probably won’t even be able to find him and I won’t do anything. Who?” Seungmin looked mildly terrifying. A cold kind of anger that someone would be afraid to face.

“I,” Jisung faltered, “I only remember the one – Kim Jinhyun, I think… I could be wrong…”

“The fireworks last night must have been absolutely terrifying…” Hyunjin muttered, wide-eyed, “You had no idea where they were coming from and were probably asleep…jeez, you must have outright panicked.”

“Yeah~,” Jisung drew the word out, embarrassed, “wasn’t very fun…”

“Jeongin must have been worried,” Felix added quietly bringing the ice pack back up, “No wonder he wanted everyone to know. How bad was it?”

“How bad was what?”

“Last night,”

Jisung felt another flush of embarrassment, “It wasn’t great, but once I was aware fully,” he could tell they weren’t buying it, “Alright. Okay, it was a bit scary and I may have had a little teeny tiny panic attack, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been and ended quickly and –“

“That’s horrible. I wish we’d of known…” Hyunjin lamented.

“Chan-hyung checked up on everyone, so don’t worry,” Jisung added awkwardly running a hand through his hair.

“Do stage effects bother you?” Felix asked thoughtfully.

“What?” Jisung responded blank for a moment, “Oh, no. I know they’re coming normally so I can prepare.”

“Channie-hyung warns you beforehand, huh?” Seungmin mumbled still clearly angered by the whole thing.

“Sometimes, but most performances have pyrotechnics,” Jisung tried to shrug off the concern, though there were times stage effects terrified him and there really wasn’t anything he could do about it.

“I’m sorry,” Seungmin said quietly, clearly still bothered. Though his anger had been replaced.

“Why? You didn’t do it Min, no need to apologize.”

“I inferred you deserved it…before you told us, yeah but – That’s not right, even if there wasn’t some idiot who tried to kill you –“

“He wasn’t trying to kill me,”

“He dropped multiple bombs on you,”

“They weren’t bombs –“

“Jisung,” Seungmin cut him off again, “Regardless, you didn’t deserve it. Even if it was just name-calling, you wouldn’t have deserved it. Okay? And I’m sorry I joked about it. It was in poor taste.”

“You don’t have to apologize for it though,”

“Sung,” Felix’s voice had a tone of warning.

“Alright. Okay, okay. I forgive you,”

Seungmin smiled at that, “Next time there’s a problem you should come to us.”

“We’ll have a camp out next time there is a storm! Or something,” Hyunjin added pulling Jisung into a hug.

“We’ll tell Minho-hyung to lay off too. If you’d like.” Felix offered.

“No. Don’t do that. I told Jeongin I’d tell everyone. So it’s fine. Plus I don’t care all that much. It’s all good fun or whatever.”

“Okay.” Felix tossed the ice pack at Jisung and Hyunjin, “Let’s get breakfast – or help Chan-hyung before we all burn to death,” he dodged the ice pack when Hyunjin threw it back and dashed for the door.

“Hey!” Hyunjin callously shoved Jisung aside to chase after Felix.

“Well don’t I feel loved?” Jisung huffed dramatically.

“You are,” Seungmin hoisted Jisung back off the floor from where he’d landed, “you idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Maybe this whole confiding in his members wouldn’t be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for me to post...things were crazy. We were laid off and then we weren't, then we were in a holding period of just stress....and bleh..........I'm also sorry this is my come back. I hope you still find it enjoyable, I am trying to get back into the swing of things <3 I have a plane Jisung fic coming <3
> 
> ALSO - thoughts on how Minho, Changbin, and Woojin should be told/find out?
> 
> I love you guys <3 <3 Have a great weekend!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this?! Another chapter of a thing I once thought was finished!!!! Gasp!! It is becoming a habit O_o

Breakfast spilled into practice, which spilled into an interview, and before Jisung could blink a week had past and he had yet to tell Changbin, Woojin, or Minho about the water bottles.

Jeongin still pestered Jisung each night, trying to force him to do it -- “ _you need to Hyung. It’s important, please. I’ll go with you even…”_

Jisung always felt a flush of embarrassment at the thought of needing Jeongin’s assistance and brushed off the concern.

But time was running out – if Jisung thought Jeongin had been brazen, he should have been prepared for his 2000 brothers; especially Seungmin.

Whether it be at practice, when a speaker popped and Jisung all but squealed sending Minho into a fit of endeared laughter;

 _‘It is not funny, Hyung! Ji was scared, you shouldn’t laugh at him, it’s mean! You jump at all sorts of shit too,’_ Seungmin bit back before Jisung’s heart had even settled.

Or, just yesterday, when a car backfired as they waited outside for a fan meet;

_‘You screamed too! Stop teasing him! You -’_

_‘Min!’_ Jisung had managed to cut Seungmin off just in time.

Jisung had a funny feeling that Seungmin’s response was still connected to the ‘deserve it’ joke he’d made. Regardless, Jisung really needed to explain things soon.

Changbin, unsurprisingly, was easier to pin down. Partially because they’d write together and partially because Chan agreed with Jeongin.

The three of them had been working diligently for a few hours without any real interruptions or even sidetracking. In fact, it had to be one of the most productive days the three had managed to have in a few weeks.

So it was a bit surprising when Chan suddenly jumped up, forcing a yawn and stretching, “I’m gonna go grab us dinner,” he gave an awkward embarrassed shuffle, “So you guys...talk…”

“Smooth Hyung,” Jisung responded with an eye roll.

“I’ll even bring dessert, alright?”

“Just go already,” Jisung whined over the promises of sweets, “And let me handle the others --” he shouted out after their leader ducked out the door.

“So,” Changbin started with a fond chuckle, “I assume you’re gonna tell me why Seungmin’s nearly castrated Minho-hyung recently – or maybe why Jeongin won’t stop nudging you towards us every other second.”

“Yes. All of the above.”

“Good, I’ve been curious,” Changbin pushed his computer a bit farther back onto the table and leaned back in his chair, “So?”

“Loud noises scare me,”

“This, I know,”

“Well, there’s a reason behind it and, I guess, it’s big enough thing to make people want me to share.”

Changbin snorted at the ‘I guess,’ “You ‘guess?’ Well, why don’t you spill and I’ll give my opinion, huh?”

“I – that’s what I’m trying to do,”

“Nah, you’re stalling, but you got time. We both know Chan-hyung will purposely take like three times as long as needed,”

Jisung chuckled, Changbin was always the least concerning. The two had been friends – close friends – for so long, “Yeah, yeah. This group of people, kids I guess – cause I was a kid --”

“Sung,” Changbin snorted lightly, but was watching thoughtfully, “just tell me, yeah?”

“Alright fine,”

Telling Changbin was easy. Jisung didn’t really worry about jokes or snide remarks, he was even able to go into more detail – like how he’d tried not to tell his parents, to pretend nothing was going on – and how sometimes, not always just sometimes when something scared him, Jisung actually thought he might die. It was a silly fear, and he said so. Said that it kind of felt like what he’d imagined death might feel like.

“I know it’s ridiculous, even those bullies wouldn’t have killed me with their bottles, but I don’t know, I can’t always convince my brain of that.”

“Shit Sung,” Changbin scowled darkly, “Those kids were assholes…”

“Yeah, that they were…”

“You know we’d never intentionally hurt you, right? I know we all mess around a fair bit, but we’d be really upset if something ever actually hurt you.”

“Oh yeah, no I know,” Jisung attempted to reassure.

Changbin was silent for a moment, “Yeah. Maybe. But it took you a long time to share.”

“Would you have shared? It’s embarrassing.”

“Sung, you were attacked as a kid. That’s not something to be embarrassed about – angry, sure. I’m furious, but none of that was your fault and anyone would have reacted the same way.”

Seungmin’s words flashed through Jisung’s head briefly – the vocalist may have regretted them and Jisung certainly accepted the unneeded apology, but there had to be some truth in there. He could be obnoxious, maybe those kids just went about shutting him up in the wrong way, “I guess…”

“Wow~ That definitely sounds like you agree with me,” Changbin pulled the computer back slowly, “Agree with me or not, I’m right. Fight me.”

“Hey,” Jisung rocked the chair forward with the shout, “that’s my thing! Find your own thing!”

“Nope,”

“Jerk!”

“Brat!”

“Food!” Chan burst through the door before the banter could continue, “Lots of food!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

 Surprisingly, though it probably shouldn’t have been, telling Woojin was also remarkably easy. As it turned out, perception was one of the eldest’s greatest gifts.

The day after he’d told Changbin, Jisung and the others were going to visit a small festival – not to perform, just to enjoy the world for a few unbothered hours. Something every single one of them was looking forward to.

The festival was small and it wasn’t packed – so they weren’t really recognized – but it was glorious. It smelled rich with food and sweets; colorful with costumes and games; vibrant with laughter and happy chatter.

They’d split up, Chan, Changbin, Felix, and Minho dashing off one way for food and Hyunjin and Seungmin gleefully dragged Jeongin towards the waterfront for rides and prizes.

Jisung, on the other hand, was happy just leaning back against the small chain link fence, drinking his hot tea, and saving the group's spot with Woojin.

At the moment, Woojin was stretched out on the blanket watching the sky slowly turn dark – head currently resting on Jisung’s thigh.

The pleased hum Woojin gave when Jisung ran his fingers roughly across the singer’s scalp brought a smile onto Jisung’s face, “This whole day has been great.”

Woojin hummed again, “Yeah it has been – we’re lucky.” He turned towards a group of adults walking passed, “The farther we go, the less we’ll be able to do this.”

“That’s true too,” Jisung muttered, growing drowsy. The warmth of Woojin and the tea – his jacket, everything. He closed his eyes and listened to the happy chattering and roaring engines.

Jisung was close to nodding off when he felt Woojin shift again, the warmth of his body leaving causing him to whine quietly and Woojin to chuckle.

“Come on Ji Ji,” warm hands lowered Jisung’s body down to a laying position, head resting against Woojin’s thigh now – their positions nearly reversed.

And there he dozed – drifting between mild awareness and complete oblivion.

“Just a second, Ji,”

Woojin’s mumbling brought him back slowly as did the eldest’s warm hands securely wrapping around his cold ears. At first Jisung’s mind sluggishly assumed Woojin noticed the cold, but then he heard a muffled ‘pop.’ A second and a third, “Wha?” he managed sleepily.

The chuckle was also muffled through Woojin’s hands, as were his words, “Just a few fireworks Sungie,”

The colors above them were brilliant, large flower-shaped blasts easily illuminating the ground in flashes of reds and pinks.

“It started about twenty minutes ago,” Woojin spoke loudly, “Should be over pretty soon.

Jisung blinked a few times, his brain slowly catching up – Woojin had known that the fireworks show was starting and had moved to shelter him.

A sting rushed through Jisung’s core, not painful but warm – hot even.

Though some part of him was mildly embarrassed.

Jisung slowly sat up, glad that Woojin allowed him to do so and that the older’s hands slid off as he did – scattered applause broke out following the end of the show.

“I figured sleep was higher on your list than watching the sky light up,” Woojin said with a smile – though Jisung knew him well enough to hear the unsaid words, “I hope that was correct.”

“Thanks,” Jisung started almost choked up but not fully, “for covering my ears, I mean… and for … yeah.”

“Didn’t want you to get startled,” Woojin responded easily ignoring Jisung’s emotional strain – a thing Jisung was thankful for – “wanted to make sure the day was fun all around.”

With a long hum, Jisung leaned back against Woojin, “I got bullied some when I was little. They, well, they used makeshift bombs I guess… and, I don’t know, it stuck with me.”

Woojin made a sound of acknowledgment but didn’t press for details.

“Do you want to hear about it?”

“Do you want to tell me?” Woojin only paused for a beat, not long enough for there to be an answer, “Because, of course, I’d like to know. But, I know the important stuff already, right? It bothered you enough that it still affects you.”

Jisung felt all the tension drain from his body quickly, like a quark pulled free. And he told his story again. This time in full honest detail, confiding every part he could remember and even some he only thought he might kind of remember.

Woojin hummed and listened to the full story, “I’m glad you weren’t too badly hurt by that last one Sung. You could have lost your hearing – What? Why are you giggling?”

“No, sorry,” Jisung tried to stifle his giggles, leaning back still farther into Woojin, “It’s just,” he swallowed, “I was so worried about telling you all, right? And yet, both you and Jeonginie’s first few words were about my hearing. And Seungminie went on about how those kids were trying to kill me,” he chuckled again a bit darkly, “I guess I was really stupid.”

“For what?” Woojin questioned quietly, “So far ‘stupid’ has never been a word I’d use to describe you.”

“Still should have trusted you all though.”

“There’s a difference between distrust and fear, Ji. Being afraid of our reaction doesn’t mean you don’t trust us.”

“Yeah, I guess. But –”

“We’ve returned!”

“With treats and coffee!”

Jisung let the conversation die, and stuffed his face with a chocolate bar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. I originally intended to have Minho's section in this chapter too -- but it would have been very long and also very not posted today...so it will be next week for all who are interested! AND then there will be an epilogue/prologue of sorts - Chan's chapter the following week
> 
> Anyway! Thanks for reading
> 
> Oct 28th edit; I will continue to post the updates to this story and others as I write them. I know it is a weird time for the fandom and for SKz. As my works often take place in an alt irl and are often specific to an event...Woojin might not always be included...I'll try and remember to mention that in the notes as new stories come about - but bare with me. 
> 
> I hope that whatever thing he had to leave for isn't sad or unpleasant as I fear it is, but rather that it is happy. And if the thing is sad and unpleasant than I hope he knows he still has the support of Stays. Much love! Talk to you all on the weekend!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I wanted to say Hi! AND I am sorry if I didn't respond to your comments...I just got so busy...but I read them all, and I save them all, and they always make me smile! <3

Jisung wasn’t really worried that Minho would laugh – he might, but not to be mean – and he wasn’t really worried that Minho would be angry – he would be, probably at the kid and maybe even at Jisung. Those things used to worry Jisung, really worry him, but the seven members he’d spoken to thus far had proven him wrong on all counts.

There was something that did worry Jisung about telling Minho however. A few things actually, some of which he knew were silly, others embarrassing, all bothersome.

There was a special connection between the two of them, a thing akin to true friendship, kinship – maybe even destiny – Jisung occasionally pondered it. A thing sparked into life the second Jisung tried to encourage Minho years ago.

The true issue with telling Minho, if Jisung was being honest with himself, was that he didn’t want to see him disappointed; disappointed Jisung had never mentioned it, disappointed it still bothered Jisung, disappointed that Jisung wasn’t as strong or smart as Minho sometimes mused.

It had been four days since Woojin proved he was an amazing hyung – and yet, Minho was still in the dark. Jeongin was literally one incident away from explaining everything himself. Seungmin was even more likely to explode at this point.

Time was out.

Of course, that didn’t mean that there was ‘time’ to actually tell Minho anything either. Schedules were tight – both Stray Kids as a whole and 3racha as a unit. Jisung hadn’t been alone with any one member – besides Jeongin and half the time one of them was sleeping – since the firework show. At least not for any length of time.

In fact, Jisung wasn’t even with a member at all at this moment – no – currently he was waiting impatiently backstage. He’d been tasked with sound checking for the group since a time constraint had meant that they’d get no stage rehearsal before their performance. He should feel honored that Chan trusted him with sound checking for everyone – he should be, but frankly, he just wanted to sit down and take a break.

What made the task even more frustrating was the tech crew and their convoluted – and dangerous – system. Why anyone would have all speakers maxed out – locked on max volume one might add – and how it only had a single port for all microphones was beyond Jisung’s understanding. Even 3racha’s old studio – a literal closet they’d commandeered off of a rarely used basement practice room – was better equipped than this.

“Your gonna blowout you speakers,” Jisung muttered to himself.

“Listen, kid,” one of the techs huffed, “I’ve been working this system for nearly three months – nothing’s breaking. It’d be your fault if it did.”

Jisung bit back his response and continued working quietly. The tech must have gotten bored and disappeared into the darkened wings. Horrible set up aside, Jisung made quick work of adjusting the individual mics – turns out knowing the volume level numbers for each member by heart made it easy.

“What is ‘that?’”

Jisung jumped, nearly falling off the edge of the small ramp he was on, “Fu – Minho-hyung…jeez…”

Minho snickered, “Sorry. But really what is that monstrosity?”

“Their apparently unbreakable speaker system.”

“Bold words…”

“Well, the guy basically said if it breaks, I am the one to blame so –“

“Normally I’d agree with him, but that thing looks like anything would set it off,” Minho squatted down looking intently at the outlet – currently loaded with far too many devices, “You need to plug something in?”

“No, thank god. That’d definitely blow the system,” Jisung sighed, “Why are you here anyway? I thought you and Hyunjin were gonna run through stuff.”

“We were, but Seungmin was there and I was worried he’d finally burn a hole through my skull. I’ve tried to apologize for whatever murder I committed, but he just tried to delete my existence.”

Jisung cringed internally, “I’m sure it is nothing –“

“Nothing?! If that is _nothing_ , remind me to never do _something_ he would kill me over.”

“You, are being dramatic –“

“Says our resident squirrel,” Minho barked a short laugh, “You’re always dramatic.”

“While that’s true. Seungminie is certainly not going to kill you,” he said diplomatically, “intentionally anyway.” Jisung muttered the last bit as he finalized the group levels.

“See, that’s what scares me,” Minho continued playfully, helping organize the wires, “It’d be accidental, sure, but he wouldn’t regret it.”

Jisung’s comeback was shattered before it existed.

The speaker system – unbreakable though it had been called – suddenly burst with electricity; snapping plastic outward as the exterior shattered, crackling loudly with unbridled static, sparking dangerously. The lights around them flashed with the surge, fluttering before finally settling in darkness.

“Shit! Shit, Sung?” Minho’s voice seemed frantic in the darkness, “Sungie – answer me? Are you hurt? Did you get shocked? Shit, please answer me,” there was a clatter in the darkness, another curse from Minho, and then light beaming from the small bulb on his phone, “Jisung?”

He’d felt the heat dance around his fingers, the plastic scratched up his arm, the off buzz of sudden electricity. Those things managed to process through Jisung’s brain just as the sound sent him elsewhere. It was almost instantaneous, a beat of two of recognition as the event occurred – an electrical short, likely in one of the cords they were moving. But he couldn’t stop the sudden spiral. Couldn’t stop the way his throat closed, his chest begged, his eyes watered and burned, how everything seemed to painfully close in around him.

“Sung? What happened? Are you hurt?” Minho sounded terrified, absolutely stricken, as he latched onto Jisung’s middle and pulled him farther away from the still sparking machine, “Okay… Okay… Ji,” Minho tried to manhandle Jisung, who was curling into himself, into a hug, “Where are you hurt? Sung? Come on…”

“Jisung?” Chan’s voice called out carefully – hesitantly – from the darkness, “You’re alright, yeah?”

“Hyung!” Minho managed to squeak out, “I don’t know he might, there was a surge – I think he might have gotten shocked – he’s not – I don’t”

Chan found them while Minho frantically rambled, “It’s alright Minho – just try to calm –“

“I think he was electrocuted how can –“

“Min, I know. But you need to calm down, both of you need to calm down. Okay?” Chan lowered his flashlight so he could see Jisung better, “Hey, Sungie, I’m gonna look at your hands and arms alight? Just try to calm down, okay? Your Minho-hyung has you, your safe.”

Minho had moved Jisung well enough so that the small boy was securely held between his legs, though he was still curled tightly. Causing Chan some trouble as he did his best to pry Jisung’s hands out into the limited light.

“Minho?” Chan questioned quietly still carefully trying to get at the youngest’s hands, “Did you get a look at all? Any damage?”

“No…” the word was tight and dry, “I, I didn’t even – he was quiet… I thought at first, that, thought that he – but then he was shaking –“ subconsciously Minho tightened his grip, “I thought…”

“It’s alright,” Chan comforted, “Sungie, I need you to focus on us, can you do that? Minho and I have you. Your hyungs have you, okay?”

There was a small shift. A nod – disconnected from the shaking shallow breathing.

“That’s good Sungie. Can I see your hands, please?

Stiffly Jisung pulled his hands free from their spot and into Chan’s waiting ones. His breathing was still fast – though no longer frantic – and things were still foggy. But Minho had helped – oh had he helped.

“There you go, good job,” Chan pitched his voice up slightly, and carefully examined Jisung’s clammy shaky fingers, “Do there hurt Sung?”

“Y-yes…” Jisung croaked out.

“That’s good – that’s a good thing, okay. No nerve damage,” Chan seemed to be half talking to himself.

“Did you get shocked Ji? Does your chest hurt? Can you brea –“

“Minho-ah, calmly,” Chan placed a hand over Minho’s, “calmly.”

Minho swallowed, forcing himself to chill out a bit, “Ji, did you get shocked?”

“I, maybe,” Jisung said still panting slightly, “I, I don’t know.”

“That’s okay Ji Ji. What about your chest? Does that hurt?”

“No…” he shivered slightly, tempted to dry his eyes but also not wanting to move, “I don’t think so. And…I can breathe fine.”

“That’s good. Oh god, that’s good…” Minho started to mumble, clinging even tighter to Jisung.

“Besides your hands, anything else hurt? How’s the panic, Sung?”

“I’m okay,” he sniffed, “Just –“

“What the fuck did you do to our system kid?!”

“Minho-ah, go and take Jisungie back to our practice room. I’ll take care of this. Okay, Ji? Just remember you’re safe.”

Minho didn’t wait for the yelling to start again, carefully pulling Jisung to his feet, “Come on Ji Ji, easy does it.” He carefully clung to Jisung as he stumbled, “I got you. Come on.”

The lights came back on as Minho ushered Jisung into the practice room labeled ‘Stray Kids,’ causing a commotion from the members within – though Minho ignored them as best he could, and brought Jisung all the way to the couch in the corner, “Can someone get him a glass of water and, is there a first aid kit? Or something?”

“What on earth happened?” Woojin questioned, bringing the first aid kit with him to the couch, “Wasn’t he sound checking?”

“The damn thing exploded in his face,” Minho still sounded tight and frustrated. He’d been lucky too. The way they’d been sitting had placed him off to the side, partially shielded by Jisung. The younger had been centered right in front of the stupid thing.

“What!”

“Is he alright?”

“That’s even worse than the bottle stuff…”

Jisung had shakily brought his hands out for Woojin. They were mildly burned – the right more so – angry red, “Even felt the same,” he muttered.

“What?” Minho questioned grabbing the water from Felix, “Here is the water – no, stop, let me.” He pulled the cup away when Jisung brought his half bandaged hands up for it.

“How’s he doing?” Chan reappeared as Jisung drank.

“Hands don’t look too bad – still shaky though,” Woojin responded smoothly.

“That’s not surprising,” Jeongin muttered, he’d knelt down close by.

“No, it’s not. How’s your anxiety level Ji – your panic? Leveling out?” Chan asked running a hand through the other’s damp hair.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jisung mumbled, very aware that Minho was still being left out of the situation – literally feeling the other’s confusion from where he sat, “Can you guys – I wanted to be,” his sigh rattled a little, “Just tell the story, please. Minho-hyung deserves to know and I, I just can’t right now…”

“What story?” Minho didn’t sound completely unsure of ‘what’ the story might be. He wasn’t stupid.

“Ji Ji got attacked by some asshole classmates as a little kid,” Seungmin started with barely concealed rage, “Dropped bombs on his head.”

“Dropped WHAT!?”

“Water bottles Hyung – they were just water bottles.”

“They were meant to explode on you Jisung,” Seungmin countered, “i.e. bombs.”

“These guys bothered Sungie-hyung beforehand too and the last time dropping explosive bottles onto him. Didn’t even get punished.”

With another sigh, far less rattle and more exasperated than the last had been, “They got in trouble, Jeonginie I told you.”

“You said one got in trouble with his dad.”

“Jisungie says he’s pretty sure his skittish nature comes from those attacks,”

“No…I mean yes, but, it’s just,” Jisung groaned, “You guys are so bad at this…”

“Seems pretty accurate to me, Sung,” Changbin smirked.

“Wait,” Minho interjected quietly, “Classmates dropped explosive bottles onto you? Did they hurt you? They could have killed you! Who was raising them!”

“Hey,” Jisung clumsily cut off Minho, “They didn’t do much damage.”

“Except you’re completely terrified of loud sudden noises, and thought we’d laugh at you,” Seungmin spoke, to inform Minho mostly, absolutely refusing to allow Jisung to play it down, “That’s why I’ve been snippy…” he added softly, “sorry about that Hyung…I just.”

“No. I get it,” Minho nodded, “You know, Sungie, I’d never intent –“

“Stop. I know! I really really do.”

“Well,” Woojin stood slowly, “the burns on your hands aren’t bad, and you seem to have calmed down.” He smiled, “and we all know about everything now, right? You aren’t like holding back something else?”

“No Hyung,” Jisung felt a swell of embarrassment and warmth compete within him.

“Plus,” Chan started, “he’s legit lucky he wasn’t just killed…stop. I am not exaggerating Sung.” He cut the other off, “That stereo took out the entire building…”

The show went on, though they had needed to bring in a new system and it started a bit late, and to Jisung’s credit, no one outside of the nine of them would have been able to guess what had occurred.

Which was the way Jisung preferred it.

Later that night, he cornered Minho in their empty living room. Partially so he could make sure Minho knew he hadn’t been hiding it – or at least, that it wasn’t done with any ill intent – and partially so he could make sure Minho didn’t feel guilty.

“You going to say something, or should I bring the sleepy squirrel back to his bed?”

Jisung felt relieved at that, “I’m not a sleepy squirrel! I just wanted to apologize for not mentioning it sooner. It was just an uncomfortable thing… you know? And, I hadn’t planned on telling anyone – so like, it really wasn’t a _you_ thing. If Jeonginnie hadn’t –“

Minho shoved his hand over Jisung’s mouth; shutting off the stream of words, “it’s alright Sung. I get it.” He pulled his hand off away again, half expecting he’d need to shove it back into place.

“Oh, okay… well, I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“I know.”

“I wanted to tell you,”

“I know that too.”

“Good. I also wanted to say thank you for today. You know, taking care of me and stuff.”

“Anytime Sungie. Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3 <3 
> 
> Okay - Next week is going to be a chapt. to a new Sugar AU fic I think -- it is pretty angsty....fyi
> 
> The following week will finish up this story with Chan's discovery.
> 
> I think I have enough chapters/stories written to cover all of NaNoWriMo without needing to miss a week *fingers crossed* 
> 
> As for our lovely Woojin - He will always exist in my stories even when he is not present.


	5. Chan!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaNo is death -- Have an amazing week!!!

They’d been 3racha for a while when Chan found out about Jisung’s struggles -- the three had been friends for a few months by then, Chan and Jisung had been working together for nearly a year and a half.

Chan felt it should have been much sooner than then, but Jisung was stubborn and Chan -- regrettably -- was a bit oblivious at times. In his defense -- a defense Jisung would give him, not one he readily accepted -- he’d had a few close friends leave and was passed up (again) for debut. Chan’s main argument against that defense was that he genuinely wanted to be in a group with Changbin and Jisung -- so much so he wasn’t even that disappointed about being passed up again.

Regardless, he probably should have seen it or at least assumed something. But he definitely hadn’t.

Things were very busy. All the trainees had participated in evaluations and their bi-annual talent show yesterday. Which had gone pretty well. One of the young kids had broken down into tears just off stage, a couple looked as though they were going to be ill, Changbin became talkative -- Jisung silent; but no real issues for any of the trainees.

Chan had received his evaluation results, he basically had a book worth of them at this point, from his vocal instructor -- nothing new -- though they did think he was improving. Which was always nice. When you stopped improving, that was when things got real -- you only were given so many chances after you were told you hadn’t improved, and it was never very many.

None of the people Chan had closely befriended had ever fallen into that category. But he’d seen it happen before and he could imagine how horrible it would be. He wasn’t too worried about the others either -- not Jisung or Changbin anyway. Some of the others he had herded together brought a bit more concern.

“Hyung,”

“Oh Changbinnie, have you had a good day? My lessons have been super laid back.”

“Yeah,” Changbin paused -- yawning loudly, “Most of them have been, Except for Lee.”

“Rap instructor Lee or dance instructor Lee?”

“Dance.”

“Oh ~ yeah, he was like that when I had lessons with him too,”

“Yeah, he was angry,” Changbin whistled lowly, “a lot of us didn’t dance as well we could have,”

“Yeah, well. I think you did great, so -”

“Oh, I know I did,” Changbin chuckled, “You heading up then? I gotta head home for a bit, but I can bring dinner at, like, seven?”

Chan nodded along to the question, “sounds great to me. I’m gonna swing by my dorm, shower, message Ji, and head up. So we’d probably only beat you there by twenty.”

“Sounds good,” Changbin bumped fists with Chan, “See you Hyung,”

Changing the order slightly, Chan sent off a message to Jisung as he walked up the four flights to his dorm.

He used to think Korea, the dorms, even JYP Ent would never be normal -- flash forward to now and Chan could've sworn his dorm was a small piece of heaven. Sparsely decorated, but still, it was his -- even if he’d lived in six different dorm rooms to date. The bathroom he shared with the room next door was empty, the shower was hot and relaxing. It had been a pretty easy day.

He opened the window to help the steam escape the small room. The window led to a narrow alleyway in the center of the building; no grass, no trees, nothing pretty except for the sky.

Chan was quick to towel off and redress. Jisung had yet to respond, which was odd, but Chan didn’t think too much of it and sent another.

The small kitchenette was stocked with snacks, instant ramen, and bottled water. Chan grabbed a few of everything before heading out.

The walk was short and uneventful and their small practice studio office was empty -- sometimes they weren’t so lucky.

It was only six-fifteen, being early -- or alone -- used to mean easy progress but Chan found it harder to get into the swing of things since finding Changbin and Jisung. Working with them made things flow better; easier; made things more fun.

The floor was still loud, even with soundproofing, Chan could feel vibrations run through his chest; music pulsing in the dance studios and vocal rooms -- JYP rarely slept.

He made himself busy, effortlessly scattering the snacks and drinks across the table -- making sure to leave room for whatever Changbin might end up bringing --  making sure the chocolates he’d received from his parents were easily within reach from Jisung’s usual spot.

Speaking of his sometimes angry, always hyper, squirrely friend, Jisung still had yet to respond. Meaning he’d either lost or broken his phone -- it had happened twice since they’d met -- or he was busy. Chan mused for a second at the thought of Jisung ignoring him, but ‘ignoring’ anyone was a challenge for the kid -- Chan had seen Jisung ‘ignore’ Hyunjin already -- so he pushed that aside pretty quickly.

Chan was about to send the third message when he heard glass shatter and something extremely large crash to what he assumed was the floor a few doors away.

Between his genuine concern and curiosity, Chan found himself peering into the small practice room moments later. The lights were on and the music faded in and out with static like the tide. The large speaker that was once suspended from the ceiling had broken free -- finally tearing itself from the old rafters -- and swung with dangerous force into the wall-length practice mirror, shattering it, before the cord snapped and the speaker crashed down. The glass was stretched the entire length of the floor, glittering faintly in the swinging light.

Chan whistled lowly, slightly impressed by the carnage and equally relieved he hadn’t walked in on any actual carnage. Thankfully, no poor trainee had been struck by the fifteen-kilo speaker, which should never have been hanging on the ceiling to begin with, “maybe this will make them take ‘em all down.” he muttered softly, heart long since returned to its normal cadence. When he heard a strange gagging gasping sound.

“Hello?” The room was empty, besides the glass and the speaker there was nothing.

The sound was terrifying. Like someone drowning, desperate to breathe and painfully unable to do so. Each gasp seemed more panicked and less successful.

The hallway was also empty, with mostly closed doors and darkened rooms. The desperate gasps were even louder and more painful sounding in the hall. The only door that stood open was the one leading into 3racha’s makeshift production studio.

For as much as Chan wanted that desperate gasping to stop, he was also afraid to see who -- or what -- was inside that room.

“Is everything okay?” Chan questioned hesitantly leaning into the room, but the question died in the back of his throat moments later.

Chan had expected a younger trainee, maybe one of the super young kids who’d just joined or a kid who’d done badly on the evaluations. Or maybe even some gross tar creature ready to kill.

He didn’t expect to see Jisung tightly curled into a ball pressed flat against the back wall, sandwiched painfully between a couch and a standing speaker, desperate to breathe and crying frantically.

“Jisung?” it came out in a sputtered shocked glob, “Hey…” Chan paused caught between uncertainty and a kind of fear he’d never experienced before, “Sungie… What’s… are you okay?” there was no response, just more empty breaths. The sound was making Chan’s hair stand on end and his stomach filled with acid, “Sungie… come on, you gotta breathe -- you gotta listen to me.” his Korean was getting sloppy, he realized as he slowly approached his friend. Kneeling down cautiously, Chan spoke again, far less sure of what he could do, “Sung, I, can you hear me? I don’t know what’s going on? I, should I call an ambulance?” the last word broke angrily.

Nothing changed. Jisung seemed oblivious, becoming less frantic but more exhausted in his fight against his body.

Which only incited more fear in Chan, “Ji, I’m,” his mind was spinning. Spinning between calling for help and pulling Jisung free from his hiding place; maybe both. But he couldn't think that quickly. With uncontrolled desperation; Chan found himself reaching into the small space, the back of his hand rubbing painfully against the rough speaker before latching onto Jisung’s upper bicep, “Sungie, I've got you, okay? Just breathe, I'll pull you out of there and, we will get you taken care of… I promise,” Chan continued to ramble as he carefully pulled his friend from the spot. Jisung offered little resistance and no assistance – though Chan could feel the constant vibration and heat radiate off of him, “There you go. I almost got you out Ji, almost, just breathe.”

It probably took less than three minutes from Chan discovering the broken mirror to when he finally got Jisung into his arms, though it could have been a hundred and it would have felt the same.

“There you go. There you go. I've got you,” Chan fluttered slightly, internally freaking out but trying to logic through the situation as best he could, “you're safe…alright? Can you hear me? Everything is gonna be okay.” he was reassured slightly when Jisung leaned into him, “There you go. You gotta talk to me when you're ready, when you can.” Chan clung to Jisung clumsily, even tighter when it became clear Jisung couldn't quite muster the strength to do so himself.

As Jisung slowly calmed down, as he was finally able to breathe and think clearly, as his body sunk further into Chan’s own – Chan felt the adrenaline filter out of him. Leaving him absolutely terrified and upset. Though he tried to keep the tears at bay.

“I’m okay Hyung…” it sounded tired, cracked a little, but it was Jisung.

And Chan’s tears broke free. He kept his voice steady and buried his face into Jisung’s hair slowly, “That’s a good start, Ji. A good start.”

“I’m really sorry. So sorry – I don’t know what set it off…”

“Shh,” Chan rocked him slowly, more to comfort himself than to help Jisung, “That’s fine, it’s fine really. Just relax okay. Deep breathe. Please,” he managed to pull himself together enough to pull away.

Jisung looked exhausted; face still flushed faintly, forehead damp, eyes rimmed red.

“What on earth did I miss?” Changbin had appeared at the door, eyes wide and obviously concerned, “Should I be worried?” he asked slowly placing the large amount of food onto the open spot on the table.

“Nope!” Jisung popped the ‘p’ sound, “Got too invested in a song is all,” he looked to Chan, waiting and hopeful.

“Yeah. You know us…” it came off honest, but he could see Changbin’s disbelief.

“Yeah, okay. Well, I brought lots of food,” Changbin shifted the topic, “Mom’s certain you two will starve and die and then I’ll crumble or something. And I’m like, ‘Ma, we’re co-dependent but not like really co-dependent.’ And then she was like, ‘Changbinnie… you three are the same person,’” he was changing his voice to mimic his mother’s – obviously embellishing, hoping to lift the mood, “And I was so offended…”

“Aw~~ She loves us!” Jisung stood up quickly – staggering slightly – and leaned over the bagged food, inhaling deeply, “really, really loves us.”

Chan watched for a second before acting along. Jisung would tell him – he’d make him – tonight, but for now, he’d play along. Whatever happened, it was something Jisung understood. Chan just hoped that he’d be able to help once he understood as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was a good addition to this story. I was limited on editing and revising I'm afraid.. Regardless, thanks for reading!!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!!! Another Sugar AU installment is in the works and I have plans for a Woojin-Jisung fic surrounding the legendary bungee jump.
> 
> Also I legit spent twenty minutes trying to remember how to spell 'angst' ... like I have come a long way with my inability but for goodness sake brain...XD


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